Because my artwork explores themes of motherhood taboos within patriarchal society, I thought I would give this book a go. It's about one lapse in judgement that lands a young mother in a government reform program where custody of her child hangs in the balance.
This book is a look at the unrealistic expectations of mothers as well as the extreme governmental overreach we often allow in our lives for the sake of (oftentimes a false sense of) safety. People are willing to limit their civil liberties for safety and so extreme regulations are placed to punish those who threaten the status quo. It's not only about the unrealistic expectations of mothers, but the special cocktail of misogyny that mothers are dished from the day they become visibly pregnant. Harsh scrutiny, infantilization, invisibility, judgment, etc. Fathers are celebrated for very little while mothers are buried under the weight of the physical, mental, and spiritual weight of their new role.
This book examines the institution of motherhood from an interesting vantage point. But what does "the institution of motherhood" mean?
"Institutions are established social mechanisms and significant cultural practices that regulate human behavior according to the needs of a community, not individuals. Thus, motherhood is not simply biological or innate; it is also a social institution that functions ideologically and politically."
And that is one of the many themes that this dystopian story plays with. At many points along this read you will question if this is what is best for the kids of these bad mothers. How systems cause additional harm when humanity is stripped from them.
As a mother, I am really interested in art that doesn't polish and dehumanize the mother for the comfort of the collective. The overwhelming majority of artistic depictions of the mother-child relationship, though few and far between, are created through a palatable lens that reinforces the nurturing empty vessel the world wants to see mothers fulfill, and as in this story, that is what the School wishes to achieve. But, motherhood is complex. Mothers are complex, messy, and imperfect. And the mothers depicted in this book sure are far from perfect. We meet mothers who did horrific things to their children, mothers who slipped up once for the wrong eyes to witness, mothers who won't make their mistakes again, and the ones who will hurt their kids again if given the chance. I felt myself empathizing with a mother only to be reminded of her cruel actions and the reasons for being sent to the educational program. Our protagonist's crime is that she left her baby alone at home for two hours. Throughout the book I was at the scale, weighing her choices, motivations, fantasies, actions, complaints... What does she deserve? What does her daughter Harriet deserve? Will she make this mistake again? Who decides? What stories and lies do we tell about ourselves in our minds? What forms of scrutiny are positive and what kinds of scrutiny are toxic and harmful?
Much like in life, this unfolds in the grey area. We see the world through binaries. We choose to think in black and white, good and bad, good vs evil — and sometimes it is. But most of the time we are swimming through the grey.
What this book does on a deeper level is examine what modern culture expects from mothers. For 95% of human history we were hunter gatherers. These societies are set up for supported motherhood. Infants in these communities receive attentive care and physical contact for about nine hours per day from up to 15 different caregivers, according to research led by an evolutionary anthropologist at Cambridge University. Babies have an evolutionary need for high levels of physical and emotional care. Typically a mother's support system would help respond to more than half of her baby's episodes of crying, which can be one of the most challenging aspects of parenting.
Nowadays, childcare is primarily put in place for mothers to work. But what is needed is childcare so mothers can rest. (lack of sleep is considered a serious form of effective torture, now mix in the goal of keeping a being alive, and the emotional labor that comes with it!)
Although we have evolved as hunter gathers, we are not living that life now. And it has real consequences. Consequences that I think are felt the strongest in the mother-child relationship. If the system you are raising your child in is set up for you to fail, the whole of society suffers. The system and school in this book wants to reform mothers with the same bulllshit. The bullshit that a mother alone should be able to give up herself as a person and deliver a perfect mother in her place, if only she loves her child enough. The well-being of the mother cannot be sacrificed for the well-being of the child. It's impossible, it just doesn't work out that way. You can't grow healthy plants without nourishing the soil. The only thing that works is improving maternal well-being which in turn enhances maternal care.
I enjoyed this read, although I wish it maybe went deeper with some of the things I discussed here. These are things I think about, write about, and make art about so my response to the book was to relate it to my personal politics around motherhood.
If you enjoy book reviews, I'll have more coming your way very soon. My favorite subjects are both fiction and non-fiction which intersects with themes that inspire my art-making. Taboos, feminism, the institution of motherhood, underrated artist biographies, spirituality, science, death, herbalism, Neolithic goddess cultures, and more.
Comments