This is a transcript from a recent audio journal entry, although it has been edited because like, I can't stop saying "like." *forehead slap*
"In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a radical act." - Caroline Caldwell
"It is obvious that many women have appropriated feminism to serve their own ends, especially those white women who have been at the forefront of the movement; but rather than resigning myself to this appropriation I choose to re-appropriate the term “feminism,” to focus on the fact that to be “feminist” in any authentic sense of the term is to want for all people, female and male, liberation from sexist role patterns, domination, and oppression." -Bell Hooks
You could use the phrase Body Positivity to describe my work. And I think it does the job well for what it implies. There's a lot of overlap between my work and the term body positivity. but I think something that suits my work even more, and goes a little bit further into what I'm trying to do, is body neutrality.
Body positivity wanders a little bit into the toxic positivity realm. The types of bodies that represent the body positivity movement still often fall to a patriarchal pattern of beauty standards. Yes, you can be curvy or plus size, but it'd be great if you had a cinched-in waist and a big booty, you know, things like that. It's been co-opted, it's conformed.
Body positivity's mantra is to love yourself, love yourself, love yourself. And if you're striving for body positivity, this love of your body, it becomes really, really hard. It's a struggle that makes it seem like you're failing. And if you're constantly in that struggle of fighting with yourself, it makes it hard to get to that end goal of loving your body. And then I think it can easily spiral into thoughts of "well, I can't get there. So maybe if I just got the lip filler or worked out really hard or tried this new fad diet or whatever it is, then I would be happy." You start to look to other things to solve this problem. I can't do it on my own. What diet? What product? What filter? What surgery? is going to help me get to the place where now I can have body acceptance.
Something that goes hand-in-hand with the body positivity movement is Choice Feminism. (It's also been co-opted and diluted by white feminists who are either thin or adhering to the male gaze in some way.) Choice Feminism is basically any decision a woman makes is feminist if she says it is. This is sort of the ruling feminism of the internet, and the internet is our lives. Internet culture bleeds out into everything. It even reaches people who aren't actively on social media. Choice Feminism encourages things that adhere to patriarchal standards under a thin veil of empowerment. For example, you don't have to excavate why you want to get something done to your body (for example: Botox, a boob job) in Choice Feminism. And I don't want to sound like I'm bashing other women because I'm not. I am for women. It's just that Choice Feminism challenges no one. There is no work, there is no growth. Radical Feminism however isn't for everyone because it will upset and disturb the status quo and work to rebuild something better. (Despite this, a world built from Radical Feminism would be a better world for ALL. Peoples, plants, animals, waters, and the earth included.)
As I said, I'm all for women all the time and that's why I have been considering these things. Because I don't know if body positivity and choice feminism are in the best interest of women being comfortable in their bodies, their mental health, and well-being. There's a lot out there today that caters to the male gaze but is rebranded as feminist. And when our sense of identity gets wrapped up in the constant feedback loop of likes and views it can be a dangerous game. Social media promotes the objectification of the body and it's effect on girls and women is striking. My point is, we are a society of lookers. We are constantly consuming, viewing, and taking in other people. It's a very voyeuristic type of thing. We operate in our physical world, as a reflection of what's going on in our phones, all the time. It's so integrated. I don't think people are realizing it anymore, or they do and they just accept it (some even encourage it).
If we are constantly viewing the female body in a certain way, even in a body-positive space, where "love yourself" is touted as a mantra and the bodies may vary slightly but they are still easily consumable, it's easy to get burnt out on that propaganda. That's why I prefer the term "Body Neutrality." Body neutrality is something that speaks to me because it's just an attitude of "this is my body." I don't have to love it every day. I don't have to be super into it. I can have moments of pure joy in it. Or moments of deep gratitude. I can have moments of really feeling myself and loving myself, and even being totally comfy and confident in my skin. And then I can also have days where I'm just like, "meh." And that is such a radical thing. To look in the mirror, not feeling that good, and instead of going down the rabbit hole, you just go, "That's all right, we're moving on." I don't need to spend time in the mirror because my body image isn't haunting me.
Now, body positivity and body neutrality both have pros and cons. Both can be manipulated to continue objectification and comodificaton of the body. And a truly neutral attitude towards our bodies isn't always attainable, especially when others/society insist on shifting the focus back onto our bodies and the perceived "flaws". I think where these two "movements" fail is that they are individually focused. Self awareness and being comfortable with who we are is extremely important when navigating this shit. But should it be solely up to the individual to change their mindset while emersed in a sick culture? We need to change the systematic cultural norms outside of trend cycles.
"Even pretending you aren't catering to the male fantasy, is a male fantasy." - Margret Atwood
What I'm saying is, my artwork isn't "oh, we're celebrating bodies!" I just want to draw reality. Cellulite, body hair, menstruation, stretch marks, full pregnant bodies, elderly people who are sagging and dripping,
leaking breasts, and orgasmic women etc. These things shouldn't be radical either because they're just regular fucking bodies!
It's because of this voyeurism, and the constant viewing and judging of women's bodies that goes on in and outside of art, that I feel conflicted. I'm trying to navigate this complex realm. How do I depict the empowered female nude within a patriarchal society, within this over-culture that consumes the female form for pleasure? How do I do that? How do I make beauty out of the mundane? And how do I navigate these things that are sort of pandering and catering to patriarchy? How do I view these things through a feminist lens? I don't know if I'm doing that accurately yet but I'm going to keep trying.
In my new series of work, I'm exploring these female figures in a wide range of bodies with pencil and colored pencil. I have classically beautiful eurocentric bodies- a flat stomach with curves in the right places, no body hair -I have some of those. But, I'm mostly focused on body hair, leaking breasts, pregnant bellies, age, cellulite, and fat women of various shapes. I'm finding beauty in these things that we're told you're not supposed to. And if you do see beauty there then something's wrong with you and you should be actively working to fix and tame your body.
And so my artist statement for this is as follows:
This series of work explores the intersections of sensuality, orgasm, feminism, and the body. How can I make figurative works outside the parameters of the male gaze to explore female sexuality free from the constraints of patriarchy and Christian indoctrination? My interest in the feminine archetype informs this work, women in art are depicted as the exploitable maiden, the sexy Venus, who exists to be looked upon, the compliant mother who gives up her own identity to raise another, or the monster who defies convention and is feared for it (usually an elderly woman). Figurative work often defaults to the Maiden/Venus archetype. It is consumable and for male sexual gratification. But often, depictions of women owning their sexual power, their bodies, and their experiences- those images are censored and devalued. I am much more interested in depicting women as they are: complex, fleshed out, whole. These are the beginning steps of knitting together the female nude in a web of milk, moonblood, and yoni nectar. I'm finding the magic and shedding what doesn't work and uncovering what feels authentic. I hope these inspire you to find comfort in your devouring, orgasmic, animalistic, monster of a body.
So again, this goes into my inner struggle of wanting to depict female forms in a wide-ranging authentic way, what real women look like, not the type of consumable, packaged, sort of filtered women that we are so often constantly inundated with to find power in these regular bodies. Let us become comfortable, satisfied, and hungry. You know, all of these things that you're not allowed to be if you are adhering to a male gaze. Let us bloom beyond that to step into our power.
"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive." - Audre Lorde
Resources:
A some-what related and interesting take on female sexual empowerment:
P.S. I think talking about the politics of the body, how society veiws the female body, our personal and emotional relationship to our bodies, and overall health is a very nuanced conversation. It is mentally healthy to value the body you have but not so far that you ignore the body's cries for care. It is body positive to keep your mouth shut and not comment on people's bodies but not to preach unhealthy indoctrination (and this comes from the fitness/diet people as much as it does from t fat-positive side). Much of the heath/diet/fitness sphere is not really about a well-nourished body but how to achieve a trendy look or whip your body into retaining or attaining the desired skinny "healthy" look.
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